This is my desire to become the very best I possibly can in this lifetime. A huge thank you to all the yogis, aerial acrobats, meditators, contortionists, circus, French, Japanese, marine biologists, divers, mixologists, vegans, runners, climbers, dancers, linguists, artists and lovers who have inspired me to embark on this huge adventure. Thank you mother, thank you father, thank you brother and all my sisters!
Wealth is not determined by what you have, but by what you have to give.
Kundalini, here I come!
There is nothing like finishing a day at 2 am and finding a friend from a past lifetime on the docks calling your name. Not physically calling, but I know I knew him from before. G had been to Iraq in 2005 and 2007 and then Afghanistan. US Marine. We sat talking for quite some time, about everything between heaven and earth. About boats, war, relationships, stars, Karma, traveling. A stingray, big as a sewer lid, swam along the bottom from under our boat. How amazing are our lives. G is the on the boat opposite us, another Westport. Red covers on deck. Very stylish.
Our family invited us to come snorkeling at the cave with them. Met another stingray. I become alive under water.
Is eating Lindt sea salt chocolate in bed. Having a three hour break and can still hear the tones of Willie and Lobo from the galley upstairs. Strings, guitars… Our chef J makes incredible salads. I stayed up last night until 3 am ironing, and probably finished all the cherries and blueberries is the fridge, along with yesterday’s pastries. J used to be a pastry chef. Rescue remedy made me fall asleep last night and when I woke up, my jaw hurt like hell. “Why are you spraying muscle relaxation in your throat?” because I chew a lot of gum when I listen to electro swing and clean marble. Stingray furniture may require more attention. God, chewing looks bad during service. I cleared the plates as in French service instead of English. Or Russian or silver. Why did K try to teach me the exceptions before the rules in etiquette? Because it’s always different. “So tell me, Sasha, where did you get that scar on your arm?” “Well, mr S, you see, I battled a shark. It is a battle scar.” They laughed and said they would feed me to the iguanas the following day. I didn’t want to tell them their two-legged iron fell on me. It’s not too bad. I just finished a whole chocolate bar. I have a leather book that is absolutely beautiful. I might read some 50 shades of grey now. I hope mr S stops asking me for a hug and learns how not to breathe so loudly. Pervert.
I find it challenging telling people what I do for a living. Here’s some of the good, strange and funny bits.
I escorted by boss’ escort in St Topez. She helped me pick out a cute dress and taught me to walk in heels.
I carried a tray with five Lalique candle holders worth $3000 each.
I got fired for making guests wait for fifteen minutes on a peanut butter jelly sandwich.
I dove and saw two puffer fish.
I sailed across the Atlantic and was almost pushed overboard by a Belgian guy trying to be funny in the middle of the night.
I have had my cabin evacuated during a storm.
I was flown to Barbados, Miami, Dallas and San Diego for a job only to find out that the guy who set me up with it had lied to the boss and said we were married. He got fired and demanded $3000 for me despite saying the boat had paid.
I saw a half eaten shark in the Mediterranean.
I went to a fetish party with the chef.
I dated a supermodel.
I ran out of gas in le Marin, in a borrowed dinghy and had to be towed ashore after spending the day with a Czech captain who was severely drunk and lived with a couple of shy, bearded men in a wooden ship at the far end of a hurricane hole. It took forever hitching a ride because of his alcohol breath. He said I could squat a ghost ship from Slovakia if I ran out of money in Martinique.
I ran out of money in St Lucia as an illegal alien and got shanghaied by an awesome Danish Canadian family who had just raced across the Atlantic and come in second. Found a survivalist guide on the docks and spent New Years eve in the jungle, camping on a beach and cooking over fire. Hiked the islands steepest mountain in the rain.
I bought a MacBook Air for my first tip in Sint Maarten.
I don’t smoke. I like horseback riding. I like sex, corsets, lace and shoes. I hate having to deal with perverted old men. I like MIA and Lisa Lyon for their confidence. I’d rather be respected than liked. I love witty people. If I could live in another era it would be the Victorian era or Breakfast at Tiffany’s 60s in New York. I wish I could paint colorful fish really well and make tons of money on art. I am proud of my skills and would love to be braver when meeting people as I am, elevating them by provoking. I used to be afraid of becoming a slave to the material world and valued minimalism and frugality highly. I still do, with consideration to the environment. I don’t trust people in general. I spent most of my childhood playing video games. I have romanticized about running free in the jungle to the extent that I’ve realized it. I love my ex’ parents more than I love him. If I could master one skill it would be acrobatics of all kinds and dancing any style along with diving. I love learning. I’m afraid that if I spend too much time alone I’ll forget how to interact with people. This doesn’t actually bother me at all. I love the room scent of frosted cupcake, and the smell of buttered popcorn. I detest animal cruelty and that is why I am a vegetarian. It is also insanely taxing on the environment, no matter what they say about the planet not wanting to be saved. I believe in Mother Earth and astrology and am interested in dream psychology. I like Eddie Izzard because his head is as chaotic as mine and my associations normally work the same way as his. I can appear very calm under stress. I like boats and sushi and dislike people with pimples. I wish my thighs were thinner, I had less body fat and a sexy, healthy, strong and flexible body. I love burlesque and running clears my mind. I love fashion and hope I’ll have the fortitude to save a crapload of money for an apartment. I will freelance in the future. And I love architecture.
arts and aestheticism
romanticism and relationships
life is not about finding yourself. it’s about creating yourself.
Our first night out with a new crew after a fifteen hour crossing from Florida. Roxette playing, chocolates being eaten. We drink bahamamamas and eat mediterranean pizza. Owd tells us about fantastically lucrative future opportunities. But we will work for tips this year. And we’ll make a crapload if we’re good. We’ll be good. So excited. I love this life. All the houses are either from Alice in Wonderland or just very colorful.
In the ceiling of my bunk bed hang motivational notes. I know I will be tired and weary, but right now I’m happy and that certain kind of nervous you get from eating too much chocolate eggs, drinking and learning a new job. My boss is awesome.
Set your mind to abundance. Write down your sufferings, acknowledge them and burn them. Write the screenplay for your life, because your thoughts become things. People and things. Whatever obstructions you may have, acknowledge them and burn them.